THE GOVERNMENT IS TRYING TO TAKE ME OUT

General Public: Alright, what are pop music's stars up to?

Katy Perry: I released a 1 year-old song that sounds like every other song I've ever released, in a vain attempt to capitalize on my failed marriage.

Rihanna: Here's a sexy, sexy, remix of a 1 minute song with the guy who left me looking like a bruised banana three years ago.

Nicki Minaj: I wore a party city robe and toyed with Catholicism at the Grammys without really having much of a message just hours after the death of Whitney Houston.

Lady Gaga: I've been in hiding for a while but I'm getting ready to launch my new charity, called the Born This Way Foundation that will encourage a braver, kinder world.

General Public: OMG, Gaga you need to stop being such an attention whore, tranny slut, copycat whore and start being normal like the other girls. You don't see them doing stupid shit for attention.